...ramblings of a crazy mind
Friday, March 18, 2016
When is it "too much"?
In recent years I seem to come here largely when I want to give vent to an unpleasant situation (and judging by the few and far between posts, one could easily draw the conclusion that I'm by and large happy - and I am! By and large).

About 20 months or so ago, a young man burst upon my life. He seemed naive and claimed to have "loved me from afar" for over 4 years! This to me was well...... a revelation - he had apparently worked in a department adjacent to mine and I didn't even know of his existence. He was slightly younger, not as well read / articulate, average to below average grammar (to English Nazi me, this was a huge deal!)...but he seemed to genuinely care.

I must also admit he ticked the box on several child-like ideas I had (and had thought due to the passage of time I had to give them up). Things like falling in love with just a glance (for those of you who know me, know that I am no looker!), staying "loyal" to one person irrespective of their feelings, ability to give selflessly without demanding in return etc etc..

As time passed more and more of his "true" personality came to light - he had lied about every single thing. Without exception. His defence? I wanted to "get" you. To say I was annoyed would be putting it lightly. I wanted OUT (never having committed I felt I was well within my rights to do so)

Then began the name calling...and blackmailing. Repeatedly. Never took it seriously so it kept getting worse. (One might wonder what was wrong with me to put up with such an untenable situation). 

Honestly? I don't know. I guess I kept hoping there would be some redeeming qualities in the young man. Sadly while he had flashes of "niceness" - inherently all he was is an overly self indulged spoilt brat. A sense of entitlement like I have never seen before - just because he wants xyz it has to be so. Else... An ego so huge that it almost always provoked him to be demeaning of others. An over glorified sense of self which led him to believe he never does any wrong! Even when irrefutable proof is presented expects just by his saying the word "sorry" everything will be back to "normal" <read the way HE wants>, pronto! Others feelings be dammed.

Claims to "love" on one hand but treats the smallest task for the loved one as a chore... troublesome work.  

The only remove he is capable of feeling is sorry for himself and his plight. Who would want to make a life with one so self absorbed?
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