...ramblings of a crazy mind
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
..trying times
Just finished a marathon conversation with one of my best friends. She got married last year November and I was the ‘brides maid’. We are as close as sisters. And now she is late. It has been less then 6 months since her wedding and she is late. I didn’t know what to say. She had just begun to live her life the way she wanted..just begun to explore her career options, her husband (‘love marriage’) herself. And now this! Oh its not confirmed news yet, we’ll have the results by tomorrow...*fingers crossed*. I don’t believe in abortions but ...she is only 24 for god sakes!!

Got mail from a friend…one who has been more like a kid to me always.. he is sleeping with someone but is totally not involved in the romantic sense. No wait. Correction, he is sleeping with TWO women, and he has no romantic feelings for either. My lil kid all grown up. Who is this guy? This is off the wall. I live in India where this sorta thing is not common place, yet. I mean guys get married at 30 being a ‘virgin’. I’m all for exploring oneself..and have nothing against premarital…just that he has just gotten out of a serious relationship and I hope he is not doing any of this because he is not ‘burned’ off commitment…I know him, it would kill him to hurt anyone…especially the women he is ‘involved’ with. I hope no one gets hurt…

Me? …how come this blog is ‘my blog’ and deals so rarely with me? Wellllll.. loads of reasons. This is something I thought most people didn’t notice…infact I know most people don’t even realize it..just that a person I recently got acquainted to made this comment bout my blog..and it threw me off kilter. I know this to be a fact, lets see if in the coming months (years?) I’m able to reveal…be myself here. Atleast here.

This man’s comments to my posts always make me think. Not that other’s comments don’t inspire thought...just that this guy seems to have the knack of hitting home. Zeroing in on something I may not be comfortable facing. Even ready to face.. his comments about lawyers which carried on to his views about profession…so akin to my views bout what one should do to earn one’s livelihood. His cutting through the chaff and seeing though I’d mentioned I wanted some me time, I took off..to be with ‘others’.

Life is weird that way. People can know you your whole life, but they don’t really know much more then ‘about you’..where as someone who is a complete stranger can ‘know’ you with just a few meetings/conversations. I met someone a long time ago who was like that. He knew me without my having to tell him about myself. He would just magically know. He was quite possibly one of the best friends anyone could ever have. We were just that, friends. Never anything more. And as far I knew he never wanted more. Until he just ‘disappeared’ from my life.

I may crack but I'll never shatter
I may crack but it doesn't matter
I may crack but I'll never shatter
I may crack but I'll never shatter
Cuz I still have a secret
In the dark I keep it close
I still have a secret no one knows
I may crack but I'll never shatter

Taken from the song Shatter by Meredith Brooks

Life is weird that way.
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