...ramblings of a crazy mind
Sunday, April 11, 2004
I decided I don’t like being mad at the world, especially not for a bunch of losers like the friggin consulate employees. (God, I want to just rip her head off!) So I’ve decided I’m not going to be peeved any more!
Plus I’ve had a lot to keep me busy over the last couple of days… I guess that helped too.

What have I been up to,ye asketh?

Right oh, first off a friend’s younger brother was leaving for the U.S of A (the family has moved permanently and my friend flew last month) so I helped him arrange a small farewell party…which some how became a party of 20 plus people! ..but it was good fun, especially with the food and booze freely following… I even arranged for a surprise cake et all! Everyone had a blast – hey, with me playing hostess, it couldn’t have been otherwise, now could it!? :P

Then I went shopping for a bunch of my friends (I love shopping for OTHERS! Especially good friends) These friends aren’t from around here, so there were sooooo many things I wanted to send. Eatables, books, show pieces, clothes, you name it. I took my mum along with me, as she is good at bargaining and would know which stuff’s was of good quality. Every new thing I saw, I wanted to pick up. Thank god mum was with me, she kept reminding me that the poor chap (my friend’s bro) may not have enough space in his bags! When I got home dad took one look at my bags and went “decided to clean out your bank account eh?”

Then the next day saw me packing. Yup packing.
Nope, I haven’t got the Visa. But the chap who was leaving was my friend’s (actually more like a sis – her dad has given me strict instructions I should call him dad!) younger brother and I more or less play the role of the elder sis to him (despite him being older to me by 3 to 4 years!! he is a really sweet chap.) Later in the evening his best friend came over and we three set of to the airport to drop him where I met another bunch of his friends.

The way I currently look these days cannot be described. I mean, my looks have never been anything to write home about, but currently I couldn’t look worse if I tried! I’ve completely let myself go to seed… dunno when was the last time I waxed, shapped my eye brows, cut my hair…as for things like lip stick…my face would need to be reintroduced to anything other then soap and water!! And the amount of weight I’ve put on….oh good lord. I’m not even going there.
Despite looking the way I do, I got a compliment. It would have shocked the socks of my feet, only I wasn’t wearing any!
I’m sipping my soft drink (at the airport) I look up and find myself staring into the eyes of this chap who is looking intently at me. The chap goes “I really like you”, just like that. Outta the blue. I was hu-h? “as in?” (dumb woman I know! Instead of accepting a compliment I’m trying to quiz the chap on why he thinks I merit it!) He says “I like your nature” me “what about my nature?!” *with a very surprised/shocked tone* …now the poor chap starts fidgeting (must have probably been wonderin ‘why the hell did I ever open my trap’!) at this point someone else joined the discussion to say stuff like ‘yea, you are very helpful….” yada yada yada…
I wanted bang my head some where!
Here is a rather goodlookin, nice, if a tad bit shy, chap telling me something nice and I grill him.
Why can’t I be one of those women who would flutter their eye lashes, smile sweetly and say “oh why, thank-you!” (when I try it, I look like I’ve got something IN my eye! And the person would feel almost obligated to offer to blow into it!!) No, I’ve gotta grill the guy! Any wonder I’m totally single and footloose?


Anyways, the guy in question dropped me home despite his place being next to the airport…and tried to made plans to see me again…we exchanged numbers. He has a MOTORBIKE! :)

And he called first thing this morning!

9th april….ummm, yesterday was a year since I met someone. He went on to become one of the closest friends I have ever had. Someone I trusted implicitly. Someone who told me (and showed me!) that though we were just friends, I meant more to him then anyone else. And then for no apparent reason walked out of my life. Oh sure, we started having some issues last year sept..nothing that couldn’t be worked out. Sept to Dec was a strained period. But to walk away because of it? If someone means something you stay and sort things out. You fight for the person…even if it means you fight with the person.

But he walked away.

I went from being furious to numb to really hurt to bewildered…

I couldn’t understand HOW on earth could someone write mails like this one and this one then choose to walk out.

Without even offering an explanation.

“Girl you have got to know when it time to turn the page…”

…why do i even care? He was only a friend for god sakes, eh?
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