...ramblings of a crazy mind
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Alimarp: Reflections

Blog they say.

Sit down and write (ok type)

My baby (ok blog!) looks forlorn and lost …much like a kite without a string..

Why don’t I blog any more? No, it can’t be because I am that “busy” …don’t do anything other than go to office and come back. I know I can do much more… I know it because I used to do much more!

In the last three of my life I seemed to have stagnated. When my friends were off perusing their dreams I stayed on the sidelines cheering them on… which is why I suddenly find myself - a 25 year old who was at one time a promising M.Com grad (with first class mind you!) …a ‘could have been…’ today.

Of all the words of men and mice..

…the saddest are “could have been..”

There has been no “value addition” to my life. Was reading a letter I wrote 3 years ago to a very good friend and was appalled to find my desires today as exactly the same, as are my rants. Oooohh no, wait… I know a loooootttttttttt more about Doctors and Medicine today then I did a coupla years ago. I could easily open up a consultancy given my extensive knowledge about hospitals in and around Bombay. (If you are ever around Bombay and need info on ANY hospital – I am your gal)

Here we go again… when I sat down here to write I was bursting with the desire to pour my heart out..and now, 5 mins into it.. my mind is a complete blank.

What do I tell you? Without sounding like a horrible b-grade tear-jerker or sitcom.

That I now live alone in house with 4 rooms! – and this does not include the kitchen!

Or that my parents left for the U.S on the 24th of May – to have dad’s operation done.

Or that silly little lumps I mistook for large heat boils are actually caused by a diseases known as Sarcoid (nothing sinister usually – just requires regular medication, a rather rare condition)…(pssstttt, CT scans and biopsies are NOT fun) – investigations are still on.

Or that I still haven’t taken the test date for the GMAT.

Or that the person I referred to as “my kid” no longer wants to keep in touch – no reasons given!

Or ….or that Dr.Yeo attempted operating on dad and after four hours… after four hours of operation aborted it and reported no operation is possible as there are lesions on other parts of the pelvic region, stomach etc.

Or ..or that now he too believes that dad…my appa… has 6 to 12 months going by the average.

Or that I am stuck in India while the rest of my immediate family is in the U.S.

first time here.. i know words can't help.. but prayers can.. let's pray..
Sweetness I had no idea.... So much going on for you right now! And you dad!.... well I can't imagine what news like that is like for all of you.

Just remember you're 25... life has so many twists and turns. Try not to feel like "the parade is passing you by" because really, you never know just where you'll end up!

Thinking of you!!
Big Hugs,
The moment we are born, they try to make us cry... and sometiems itseems as though they never stop .... wandered through shains blog.. i dont know hwat to say to ease your pain, all i can say is - whatever it is, its not here to stay.. !! Bles you..
Yes.Lets Pray.
this is called quarter-life crisis...everyone goes thru it. so pull up ur socks n act.
wishing well for ur appa.

btw i'm surprised to see my blog url as one of the comments :|
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