...ramblings of a crazy mind
Friday, November 24, 2006
Room with a view
Singapore as most of you know is an island country.

But what I didn't know is this - you can go from coast to coast in about an hour! Thats all!!

For someone from Bombay I cannot explain how strange that feels! It took me longer than that to just go to work!!

Am staying with my cousin sister, who has an amazing home... with an extra-ordinary view.

Think 21st floor.

Think sweeping semi circular balcony (the length of 4 bedrooms and a hugeee living room).

Think city light to the left.

Think ocean to the right.

Thats pretty much my view.

Its best my bathroom actually, if one looks out of the window at a certain angle one can see shiny city lights.. which has its own charm... and looking on from the 21st floor... ummmm

And then you turn your head another direction... greeennn trees... a few ships dotting the horizion (Singapore is one of the busiest ports in the world )....and the beautiful sea.

Shades of blue... aquamarine...

I could look at it for hours!

And the sky!!

The sky looks especially wonderfull streched over the sea.

After writing the above, I borrowed my cousin's digi-cam and went crazy taking snaps - dunno how to upload them, yet, may take a friend's help and get to it.

We went to Sentoza yesterday evening.. saw the musical fountain and light show. Apparently one of the few in the world that combines halography, lazer and musical fountain... was a fun evening.

My sister's twins keep us busy - and entertained - for the most part (boy and girl pair).

Fun times! :)

p.s: reaching Bombay-also to be read as 'home'- 25th LATE night.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
...farewell America... farewell.

I have grown to love you... though now I must leave you.

Till we met again.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
A few months ago someone left the below in the comments section :

Love wants to make me swing,
Wants to make me fall,
And give into this attraction,

You make me want to sing,
Make me feel so small,
As my heart beats to these patterns,

I want to make you love me,
But that would never work at all,
Seeing that your heart is yours,
And this one is mine,
I really have no right,
To tell you how to feel inside,

Love pulls me on this string,
Over lines we drew,
These little lines of hope,
Fooling me to think,
It brings me closer to you,

You hate me now its over,
I'm not in love and sober,
And realising all the things,
I did and took from you,

I wanted you to love me,
You did all along,
But your heart was yours,
And I never quite knew what it said,
Until we said goodbye,

These little lines of hope,
I drew to help me hold your hand,
When I always knew you'd leave,
Fade and just keep fading,
Until I have to draw them again,
So I don't forget,
And make the same mistake,
Next time I'm in love,
Not that I could replace you..

...for whatever reason the person didn't see fit to reveal his/her name. I have (had?) a fair inkling who it was - though questioning from my side didn't result in anything - other than silence.

I sometimes wonder.


Is it...?


If _you_ still come by and are reading this...I would very much like to know...you.

Things may not be as hopeless as you think.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I feel good....na na NAna na! I feel good!!
The 'man' discussed in the previous post (the first one that is) is not really a bad guy.

Not at all.

I wrote on the 1st/2nd of nov :

Another day.

Another round of "talks".

Talks that lead to no action.

What is beyond fustrating is the knowledge that his heart is in the right place (atleast thats what my gut tells me)

Despite that, comments like "I don't want to stoop to your level" seem to 'slip out'. Memory lapses are more common then not.

Am at my wits end.

Fact :
I enjoy studying with him (enjoyed - past tense?)
He really has a good grounding in the subject matter.
Studying with him would give me the much needed escape route to get out of the house on most days if not everyday.
Despite having an amazingly supportive group of friends - there is only so much one can 'teach' in math over the phone - he is here, in person - and VERY willing to teach. It wouldn't be wrong to go so far as to say - the most willing - he keeps trying to make amends and re-open doors to teach me.

Also Fact :
He has a low threshold for silly mistakes.
Once an idea gets into his head there is no talking to him.
Most times I feel like I'm talking to a completely deaf audience.

And from being the one person I wanted to discuss what I was doing everyday, in detail, he is slowing becoming the one person I don't want discuss studies with.

What do I do?!

I guess his level of intellect (highhh) and my level of math (ridiculously low) was just a bad combo. I was not faulting his dedication to the task at hand - just his methods at times. Thats all :o)

We have since kinda, sorta, well actually - resolved it.

For now, GMAT prep, math and midnight drives... Oh yea... and milkshakes.

Happy times.

And comfortable quite silences.

The second man in the previous post. Wispery ghost from the past... Have drawn many moments of comfort with just the memories.

Thank you for those.