...ramblings of a crazy mind
Saturday, January 28, 2006


Ok, when is it ok for a guy to “make a move”?
What is the correct response from a girl when a guy does make a move, straight outta the blue? Should she just say no? slap him? Shove him backward? What does one do if one is in the confines of a car? A locked one at that?
What do you do when someone you have known your whole life – not practically your whole life, your WHOLE life.. as in your parents were neighbors and friends before you were even born! – makes a crude move on you, after 3 or 4 years of no contact!
Here is a story…
A girl, more then just curvy…someone who has always had a battle with the bulge… growing up was the most undesirable girl…or at least that was what she was given to believe by every guy and girl in the group..
The guy… reasonably nice..as in he didn’t torment her about her weight quite as much as the other children..

The guy’s mum comes over to the girl’s house…mentions guys new job… gurl gets guy’s number and congratulates the guy over text… guy immediately texts back saying stuff like how have you been…we really haven’t met up in ages…why don’t we meet? gurl says sure, lets make a plan… guy says great, I’ll call after work…
…calls after work as promised and brings up meeting after they have finished catching up on who is getting married to whom… who is working where… gurl says “sure, lets meet for a movie or something”… guy says “let us?...meaning the whole group or do I get to ask you out on a date?” …girl *thrown a little..laughs* but comes back with “well, how should I know if you get to ask me out on a date!” …he goes “ok, a date then…and we will make it lunch and a movie”
…she is wondering why the sudden desire to meet up..
the convo is outrageously flirting or so she thinks – admittedly this is one arena she could do with some training in.  …though point to note is that flirting seems to revolve around them getting together – long term sorts..
they decide to meet for a movie and dinner instead of lunch as the guy has a business meeting he can’t get out of …
the next morning she gets a text msg saying dinner looks a little bleak but they can meet up for a couple of hours at around 3 in the afternoon if she is ok with it?
She is like… ookkkk…but if its so much of a hassle they can always just meet up later… he is like no no…we’ll keep the movie and dinner for next weekend.. but lets just meet up today…she agrees…
He picks her up and starts driving…she asks him a where they were going a couple of times and he says… you decide…
Finally she says…look you are obviously driving with a destination in mind… so why not just share it with me… he goes “generally in the evenings I drive to this place (mentions a lake – a hangout for many youngsters) and listen to music..so I thought we could go there…”
She agrees… they get there …she is running out of topics to talk bout… and he is contributing little or nothing to the conversation…girl looks out of the window once the car is parked… after a bit..
After a bit.. she feels him rubbing her hand… the reverse side of her palm..in a decidedly weirdish fashion… its still not sinking in…
Then he starts talking crap about how wonderfully hot she looks…she thinks its obviously an extension of the night before’s crap and laughs it off… he is persistent.. and she goes, yea right!!! At this he says look at yourself from my eyes and more corny stuff like that!...cups the side of her face and tries to rub his thumb over her lips…
Warning bells go off in her head… BIG TIME…
That’s when it dawns on her “gurl, this guy is not kidding…he really thinks you are going to make out with him!”
She doesn’t know which to be more appalled about… that he thought she would just get into a car with him after 4 years and go make out…or it was HIM… someone she had climbed mango trees.. repaired cycles with…
The unreality making her laugh more then scream… politely keeps returning his hands (and he surely seemed to have more then his fair share of two!) and tells him.. its really not happening! His comical expression... “seriously? You can’t be that boring!!”
Once he is reconciled to the idea that she is not on the same page he starts with his “I’ll convince you… I can be very convincing…” to her repeating…all the action you are seeing is holding hands! (she realized the easiest way to evade “caresses” was to hold his hands”
She suggests going for a drive/drink or else just going home.. cause nothing else was going to happen..
literally saved by the bell…he gets a call from his office.. and needs to rush… tries to get out of it half heartedly.. but she implores him not to as she wants to go home anyways…
he drives her half way back…while she is getting outta the car he reminds her of next weekend urging her to keep herself free!

...later that night he texts her “ so whats up? Me reaching home. Had a nice time with you.” …she doesn’t reply… so he sends her the same txt again!
(had a nice time?!? Nice must have a different definition on planet desperate!)
…what should she do!?
Its not like he is a very good friend she can’t live without or anything.. however she does have some fond memories of him… one time as children when she was accused of stealing something everyone believed the worst, without so much as asking her!And he was the only one who told her why the others were not talking normally with her… and stood up for her told the others she couldn’t do something like that… and helped prove her innocence..
What does one do in a situation like this?
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Its only fair that i talk bout dad now eh?
1989 /1990 :

Ashmita (someone who once was a best..no THE best friend.. we were born days apart in the same year..and were virtually joint at the hip till we were bout 17..but that’s neither here nor there..) and I were sitting around yapping away as usual after school.. dad had come home for lunch and could over hear us talking his vantage point at the dining table..

Ashmita : Hey do you know Prachi is going to Singapore with the school trip!
Me : Really? Wow.. lucky her!

Dad : *looking questioningly at me* what school trip?
Me : oh nothing.. just a school trip...the are taking students to Singapore this year..
Dad : why aren’t you going???
Me : its too expensive!
Dad : *leaving his half eaten food* ..come inside.. (in that tone of voice) NOW
Me : *wondering like the dickens what I had done now*

In another room..
Dad : how dare you make the decision that its too expensive!
Me : but dad it was rs. 5000!!
Dad : who are you to decide I can’t afford it for my daughter?
Me : appa I thought it was too expensive..*almost bleeting*
Dad : as long your father is alive you leave these decisions to me! How dare you not give me the circular about it!

*with each sentence his voice raising.. showing extreme displeasure*
me wondering why I was being howled at for not making demands.. for being understanding..

I was allowed to escape from the room only when I promised I would do everything to find out how I could enroll (I felt it prudent to leave out the fact that the last date for it was past at the time!...and when he DID find out – and find out he did, cause he would ask me every single day! – a fresh and renewed , kinda like the “new and improved”, bout of howling ensured!) (ppsssstttt..have you ever wonder how they improved something that was new?)

Indulgent to a fault.. protective like you won’t believe..my hero..my daddy strongest!
(I came up with that line _ages_ before the add!)

Today he looks at me with eyes staring death in the face and says “_ _ _ _ _ do something.. “ and there is not a god damn thing I can do.
Not one.
The helplessness is beyond over whelming. It’s crushing.
Like he says.. its not the pain..that can be controlled ..it’s the general body debility that can’t.
Bloody cancer.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Mothers! Honestly!!
Jesuschristzuperstar!!! (I know thou shalt not take thy lord’s name in vain and all that.. but the good lord made mothers!!!)
Mine is a classic example of a “mixed breed Indian ma”.
She is neither the typical orthodox mother who will use 10 liters of coconut oil and insist that I do up my hair only in a traditional plait nor will she be cool with the idea of her daughter coming home past 10! ( though I do! Many times!!)
Recently a male friend of mine once again issued an invitation to come see his performance (he is a classical musician) at an annual festival – trouble is he is not based in the same city as I am… and on all previous occasions when the invitation was issued I had some solid reason why I couldn’t make it – exams around the corner or wouldn’t get leave from work.. or dad’s health… this time none of the reason were there.. except I couldn’t afford it as a result of my strained finances (haven’t worked for 6 months! – thank the lord above I lead a pretty frugal existence and most of my sal wound up getting saved)
He totally waved this aside and said he wanted to pay anyway, something along the lines of my presence there would a gift to himself! And promised me I would be back within 3 days so I needn’t worry over much about dad or mom either! Only glitch was he didn’t know whether air tickets would still be available so close to the date! I didn’t know how to react… what to say.. he said he would find out if tickets were available and call me right back..
I was bemused… and.. and…yes I wanted to go! I normally don’t make a habit of accepting gifts from people (ok fine! Usually kick up a fuss!!) but this was a gooddd friend… he could afford it (without even flinching!) and I could really use the break! (and I could pay him back later once my finances got sorted out!)
While he was finding out about the tickets I asked my mom – and she completely freaked out! NOOO WAYYY.
End of discussion! I have a feeling Victorian mothers would have been better!
I have an ancestral house in that city – so it wasn’t like I was going to live with him… just go see him perform but NOOO.
Why? Cause “its not good” !!
A few mins later a travel agent called telling me that the tickets were booked! And I had to cancel the tickets – he hasn’t spoken to me since.. understandable I guess.
I miss being special to someone.. miss someone fussing over me.. miss not HAVING to plan doctor appointments the moment I get up… (and if not doctors then dentists! – am having a root canal done right now!) three days… three carefree days… where I would have been wined and dined.. and treated like a princess. Literally! The man in question is a prince – as in from a royal family! Not to mention one of the _nicest_ men I've _EVER_ met... and is interesting compay...
But no. I am stuck here trying to workout how to get him to forgive me…and looking at my watch trying to figure out how much time I have before my dentist’s appointment. :|